This mom’s daughter wanted to cut her hair. The reason will make you tear up with joy and happiness at parenting done just right.
I am very reluctant to praise my kids. Not that they are not praise worthy, but somehow, I think I would rather have them know that I am proud of them, than let the world know that I am proud of them. So we have instances like me telling R that ‘Hey you did a great job girl, I am proud’ instead of me telling a friend ‘Hey, my daughter is really good at reading.
It may seem a bit weird, but hey that is the way I am. However, today I will make an exception. Today, I want to announce publicly that I am very very proud of being R’s mother.
Folks who know me well, will also know how I used to visit a Ganpati temple every day near my BEST bus stop, when I was pregnant with R. and I would pray for a child who is healthy and has hair which is as lovely as her dad’s. Seriously. My mom still laughs at me. “RM, you pray for a kid with lovely hair, ahhahahah”. Well what does she know? It is such a pain to have curly hair, hmpf!
Anyways, when R’s hair turned out to be exactly like RD’s – soft, silky, jet black, I was so so thankful. When R2 was born, we insisted R cut off her hair, because I was finding it difficult to manage her hair and R2.
Then we came to Tasmania, and for an year and a half, we did not cut her hair. Which made it like this!
The picture does not do justice to it really. IT was long, straight, silky and absolutely gorgeous looking!
Then our friend L came over for tea to our house one day, and we started talking about cancer patients and how some kids lose their hair due to the chemo sessions and they need good hair for wigs etc. R was not really a part of the conversation, but she has this habit of eavesdropping once in a while (hmpf!)
I am not sure what triggered this really, but she started asking to cut her hair. I was not ready to let her do it, especially since it was growing so well. RD put his foot down and said ‘no cutting hair’ She left it at that, but she started once again, a few weeks ago. About how, I never let her keep her hair open (who has to fight the tangles, eh?) and how she finds her long hair a pain during the swimming session (what rubbish!) and all that.
We had a long conversation and I warned her at least 10 times (no Amma, you wanted me at least a MILLION times, she says) that the hair cutting was HER decision and I will not accept any crying after that. She came back from school one day, and said let’s go.
Now, I firmly believe, that at the age of 8.5 years, a child’s view should be respected, as long as it is not something devastatingly wrong. If a child needs to be independent, letting them take some decisions is a first good step to it. And this girl wanted to cut her hair. Nothing wrong with it. When I weighed the pros and cons, I realised that:
- Hair grows
- She is so young that it will grow back anyway
- Cutting her hair means no more morning fights of you-don’t-know any hairstyles
- She gets to sleep 10 minutes extra
All in all, it was a win-win situation. So I agreed. She called up RD and told him. RD was like NO NO NO! I told RD to chill and let her take her decision.
So we went to the salon and asked that lady to cut her hair. R had already asked me to speak to the lady on whether her hair was good enough to be donated and if she could do the cutting the right way. I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised! I asked her ‘Is that why you want to cut your hair? To donate it?’ She pretended it wasn’t and it was just tired of having long hair. I was so proud secretly!
Anyways, so the lady agreed to cut it the right way so that it could be sent for donation and she also gave us the right place where we could post the hair. Amidst all this, RD left office early and met me at the salon in hope to dissuade his daughter from chopping off her hair! But he came too late. Of course, he was so so proud that she wanted to donate it, that he went from NO NO NO to I am so proud of you girl!
So she ended up with this!
And RD was kind enough to post her hair. And two days ago, this arrived by mail!
I must admit, there are times when I feel like yelling at the girl, but then there are times like this, which make me realise that she is turning out to be a generous soul!
So proud to be her mom!
This post was originally published here.