Motherhood throws up challenges that are least expected, but every mom need only believe in herself to know that she can surmount any of them. This is the true story of a gritty and courageous mom who discovered her inner-strength while looking to help her new born daughter battle a life-threatening condition.
As I pen down my feelings of my parenting journey so far, many thoughts cloud my mind. From tears of joy, to deep sighs, to profound peace -the list goes on. Mostly, unequivocal and whole hearted gratitude fill me up. My kids transformed the soul of my being. They made me reach my higher good and awakened my spiritual consciousness. I am a mother of three. My eldest is a boy Arjun followed by a pair of identical twins named Amaana and Ayaana.
On hearing the news that I was going to give birth to identical twins I was pregnant with joy. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. I spent 9 months on a hospital bed as a twin pregnancy is high risk. The birth of my twins on Christmas Day altered my life forever. Holding two babies who share the exact same genetic makeup was a very special occasion. My family was thrilled and we celebrated their arrival.
Then out of nowhere something happened that aroused in me every mother’s darkest fear. Three days after their birth we were told that our youngest twin Ayaana was unwell and in an extremely serious condition. My husband who is a braveheart broke this news to me with a lot of self control and poise. Every molecule in my body started to shiver. I remember vividly that I was quivering deep within but I decided to process what was going on with a calm disposition.
Not so identical
The doctors were on leave as it was the week of Christmas and suddenly we were told that she has NEC (Necrotising Entercolytus) – a very long word indeed. It meant she had gangrene in her stomach and started to turn blue. At 3 am a paediatric surgeon walked into our room and counseled us that surgery was the only option for Ayaana’s survival. We rushed her to Apollo Hospital and at just 3 days of age, our brave fighter fought death.
This was just the beginning of her battle. She battled resiliently and started to recover but her gut post surgery did not respond well. The surgeon was an aggressive man and he counseled us again to perform another surgery. Being the trusting people we were, we went ahead again only to find that after 4 months of being in hospital with no signs of recovery, we were in the most helpless position as parents.
An angel and prayers
God has his divine ways of intervening. Our friend from Columbia Hospital visited one day and she was horrified by Ayaana’s condition. She advised that the baby would not survive if we kept her in India. Our only chance for a recovery would be to fly her to Singapore as they have the best child medical facilities and care. My husband immediately made up his mind to take her and the next thing we knew, he was on a flight out with a very sick baby in his lap. I remember, as we carried her around in our arms at the airport, everyone stopped me and asked about her and said they would pray for her recovery.
My husband bravely carried her all the way in his arms. The moment the Singapore doctors saw Ayaana, they remarked they had never seen such a sick baby. She was very dark with the medication, her bilirubin was alarmingly high, she was jaundiced, had no oral feeds since the day she was born, and had a stomach and a heart condition.
Ayaana’s journey so far was only filled with pain and suffering as she could not eat or drink anything. At four months old she had only felt the poking of needles and nothing could be fed orally. As a mother it breaks your heart to see your child suffer daily and a helpless feeling of not being able to even feed her threatens to set in.
A mother’s resolve
As this point I had just one thought that kept me going. This is my journey with my daughter. God has chosen me to be her mother. I shall unconditionally submit to his wishes and ways. I shall rise to the occasion and not blame anyone or show resentment towards anyone. I will stay calm, centered, cheerful and in control of my emotions as I have to lead by example. My other two kids and my family were constantly watching me, so I had to only offer strength and courage to them all.
Its amazing how in pain we all gain so much character, courage, and strength. In Singapore Ayaana underwent her third surgery and she stayed for over 7 months. Today the surgeon there has written a research paper on her strength and recovery.
A birthday gift that keeps on giving
Ayaana returned home only on her first birthday. After a full year in hospital without her siblings and family, this child is nothing but a miracle! Today she is the most lively, free-spirited, ever-smiling toddler I have ever known.
She’s popular not just amongst her teachers but the whole school calls her the little gonda of the school. She exudes life and is ever smiling, giving and caring for all.
Believe in two things – Miracles and Yourself!
Our journey together inspired our family to lead a positive life with gratitude in our hearts – to never give up and to believe in ourselves. Miracles will happen to those who keep the faith. Today I am a fearless mother. Nothing shakes my inner stillness. Thanks to motherhood, it made me discover my life’s passion and purpose. Today I have started a Global Women’s Group where we inspire, empower and encourage mothers to be the best versions of themselves: raising themselves up before raising their kids.
The emotional lessons our kids learn in childhood and adolescence shape their emotional circuits for life. So as parents, keep cultivating love, compassion, kindness and caring. The only way to teach these is by being a shining example yourself.
Happy parenting everyone!