What would you confess to your kids, about your carefree youth and pre-motherhood days?
When I was 18, I made my initial no-marriage-ever-under-any-circumstances declaration. I would tell this to anyone who would care to listen with the self-righteousness of someone who believes she’s the first person in history to make that statement.
The thought continued through college; however, in a twist of fate I was the first one to marry among my friends. Soon after I made another declaration: no-kids-until-I-finish…blah-blah-blah, and somewhere along the years no-kids turned into when-we-have kids, and now we have two in our nook.
Now, if I met my 18-year-old self, I wouldn’t recognise myself even if I dance with pom poms in front of her. At 18, I was full of energy making plans for the future. I imagined myself playing Badminton nationals, singing in a concert, or travelling around the world. I would picture myself sitting in a quaint café reading Proust or studying some language. Of course, I’d always have a bank full of money and spare time to indulge in whatever takes my fancy. They were plans after all and planning is comforting. No wonder they never lasted more than a month.
I do not relate to my 18-year old self anymore, but I would love my kids to see that side of me. You know the carefree, irresponsible side when I considered myself “cool” (WINK). I wasn’t born a mama, and I hate to think that they would never get to know the pre-mama me. I don’t want to be remembered as this boring person who fussed over food and nagged about TV time.
Now, I wouldn’t have worried about it if it weren’t for this little voice constantly urging that I owe my 18-year-old self some recognition. It’s like I need to remember that she existed and reconcile her with this new me and that’s why I choose to share these 5 confessions of a mom with you.
- So here you go kids, your mama wasn’t always a bore; there was a time when she could sit through the entire movie without snoozing off.
- You have always seen me complain about too much junk food in our life, but while growing up I used to survive on it. There were takeaway packets in the drawers, spoons between books, and cans under the bed. However, I must mention that made mommy FAT, and she had no boyfriends when she should have. Trust me, I’d still rather eat nachos and watch CARS-2 on repeat with you, but for the next several years it’s going to be like this. Sorry.
- The other day I was angry because you didn’t do your homework. I must confess I was a back bencher all my life and hated being under the supervision of teachers. I bunked class, flunked subjects, and was even debarred twice in college. I know you will call me a hypocrite, but God has made me responsible for teaching you life lessons. Hence, you’ll have to bear the banshee screaming.
- “We grew up on books”, I’ve used that line a million times with you. They weren’t always children’s fiction. I started reading Mills and Boons when I was 12, and I didn’t stop there — much to the chagrin of your Didun (Nani). I am always picking books for you now, telling you what-to-read and what-not-to, but I know soon you will learn to hide from your parents, and I am dreading that secretly.
- Family, they were always important, but there was a time when I hated them. They call it the teenage years. I was perpetually angry with the world and would not listen to anybody. I am already worrying about you reaching that phase. Can you do me a favour? Do not jump off the cliff because someone dares you, or indulge in drunken brawls, or take on the pressure of education. Just make it to 21; life seems much better then. Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t.
Everything else, you will survive. The way Mommy did!
*This article originally appeared on the author’s blog.